Just Smile and Wave

Can’t sleep coz I have some sort of second knee cap growing on the side of my real one so figured I would check this out coz I haven’t been on here in an age. So life at the moment…. I have just got my own little flat with Paris which is very strange. I know that we have basically lived together for about a year but this is different. So far its going well no arguments but then again we never really fight anyway lol. so yeah, this makes me feel very old, this and the fact that I have just turned 19… Not long until I am 20 and then I can’t blame everything on being a teenager “( 

Sneaking

My sneaking hath failed… Pigeon would be proud, I had an amazing plan and set it up brilliantly… alas… it failed. However even the best laid plans of mice and Women are sometimes doomed to fail…I will not rest! I shall come up with an even better plan!

Update… IT WORKED MWAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA

Loss

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to loose that one person that means more to you than anything else. The person who makes you who you are without either of you knowing it. The person who effortlessly makes you smile even when you are convinced that you will never smile again. Who, no matter how hard you try, you can’t stay mad with, you just give in and forgive with a hug and a hidden smile. The one who sits there while you shout and scream and lash out at them because you know that out of everyone, they are the ones who will forgive you for doing so. I wonder what it would be like if suddenly, they just weren’t there any more. I don’t mean a break up but what would you do, how would you act, if suddenly, that person passed away? If you woke up one morning to the sound of their parents in hysterics, to a phone call from the police telling you there had been an accident. Life is so fleeting, there are so many ways it could simply end and yet we still form such strong emotional attachments. We learn to crave and rely on something so breakable that what happens when that person leaves? I can’t imagine not having that person in my life. I can’t imagine how I would act, how I would cope, how I would even come to register and accept that this person could no longer be in my life. It scares me in a way, that it might happen. That a day might come when he isn’t just a phone call, a drive, a message away. All I can do, I suppose, is make sure that he knows I love him. That we never go to bed on an argument. That the last thing I do before I fall asleep is to tell him I love him, that he means the world to me. Because, in the end, I would want that to be the last thing I said to him. 

Friday

ehem, here we go again ¬_¬ 

Also loving the Queen song - Fat bottomed girls, however in true Kirsty style I decided to think about what it meant… yes I over analyze.. yes its a pain in the arse… not I can’t change.

ANYWAY yeah so I’m thinking that its a actually a jab at ‘fat bottomed girls’ I mean, “Fat bottomed girls, you make the rocking world to round,” I’m thinking thats some reference to the world being stuck in their orbit or something… I dunno maybe this is my cynical side rearing its little head however… it would be rather funny if the ultimate ‘fat girl anthem’ (besides sir mixalot of course) actually turned out to be a jab at them ^_^ 

So, now in need of another outfit… DAMMIT why can’t I have more clothes… why can’t Jane Norman and New Look go back to stocking perdy clothes and why can’t every shop please please stock a petite section, and maybe size 4? My 6’s don’t like my bum “( They keep trying to have an affair with my thighs… Not very dignified to be yanking them up every few seconds… my own fault I am well aware, however things are hard and out of control again T_T at least this is easy to control.. MWAHAHAAHAAAA damn my unhealthy obsession with food and exercise, you stole my hips, bum and boobs (well, what little I had managed to gain through carby binges ¬_¬) oh well ^_^ yeah anyone who wants to possibly take me shopping would be greatly appreciated, every time I go with Paris he either suggests everything pink and floral to annoy me or insists on paying for stuff ¬_¬ not sure which annoys me more, the fact he thinks I am the sort of person to wear big pink floral dresses or that he thinks I am the sort of person to sponge off my boyfriend ¬_¬

Broody

Grrrr ok I am sick of being in the stage of just wanting a baby all the time! Every time one comes into work I swoon!!! Its ridiculous! Damn you body hurry up and realize I am too young, too busy and for the next three years incapable of having a child!!!! If my body clock would like to realize this sometime soon please I would be most grateful… I mean surely my body must know that thanks to the little rod in my arm I can’t have babbis? I thought the body was meant to be clever ¬_¬ It’s rather frustrating, meh oh well, will snap out of it soon ^_^