November 2011
1 post
Can’t sleep coz I have some sort of second knee cap growing on the side of my real one so figured I would check this out coz I haven’t been on here in an age. So life at the moment…. I have just got my own little flat with Paris which is very strange. I know that we have basically lived together for about a year but this is different. So far its going well no arguments but then...
August 2011
2 posts
Sneaking
My sneaking hath failed… Pigeon would be proud, I had an amazing plan and set it up brilliantly… alas… it failed. However even the best laid plans of mice and Women are sometimes doomed to fail…I will not rest! I shall come up with an even better plan!
Update… IT WORKED MWAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA
June 2011
1 post
May 2011
1 post
April 2011
6 posts
Loss
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to loose that one person that means more to you than anything else. The person who makes you who you are without either of you knowing it. The person who effortlessly makes you smile even when you are convinced that you will never smile again. Who, no matter how hard you try, you can’t stay mad with, you just give in and forgive with a hug and a...
Friday
ehem, here we go again ¬_¬
Also loving the Queen song - Fat bottomed girls, however in true Kirsty style I decided to think about what it meant… yes I over analyze.. yes its a pain in the arse… not I can’t change.
ANYWAY yeah so I’m thinking that its a actually a jab at ‘fat bottomed girls’ I mean, “Fat bottomed girls, you make the rocking world to...
Broody
Grrrr ok I am sick of being in the stage of just wanting a baby all the time! Every time one comes into work I swoon!!! Its ridiculous! Damn you body hurry up and realize I am too young, too busy and for the next three years incapable of having a child!!!! If my body clock would like to realize this sometime soon please I would be most grateful… I mean surely my body must know that thanks to...
Reblog this and go on your page
Who Ever Made This. YOU’RE A GENIUS
February 2011
1 post
What's wrong here
melissacorrales:
darrenchrist:
jeaaahx:
Try to find the error. It’s impossible. AAA BBB CCC DDD EEE FFF GGG HHH III JJJ KKK LLL MMM NNN OOO PPP QQQ RRR SSS TTT UUU VVV WWW XXX YYY ZZZ Did you know that 80% of UCSD students could not find the error above? Repost this with the title “what’s wrong here”, and when you click “post “, the answer will be really...
January 2011
11 posts
Reasoning
So was chatting to Paris the other day about how I’m waiting for him to skitz out at me. I really am just waiting for him to shout at me but he just gets all upset and disapproving. He’s asked me why I expect him to spaz out but I know that the answer would bother him. It’s Dan. Obviously. If I say that I’m just used to someone getting mad at me he doesn’t understand...
Diet
Tomorrow I am going on a diet I want my abs back. Goodbye random podgey bits that sprang up from no where, hello again mini waist ^_^ Back to karate too, it gives me the motivation to do 100 ab crunches and press ups…
tutti-fucking-fruitti asked: I'm so fucked off right now. I had a post somewhere on here where i vented, i got all of the shit out of my system from my relationship with jon. Before doing that i changed my URL so that cuntfuck couldn't find what i put so she wouldn't be offended, i also hid the post under a 'read more' and EVERYTHING i posted was true. EVERYTHING and Jess has somehow refound my page...
Lord above ¬_¬
So its getting pathetic now. I really feel for Pige, I mean she has tried to leave well alone even when she could get her into SO much trouble for all the stuff she has been saying. Plus someone has been posting stuff about her on Little Gossip. Now I don’t agree with Little Gossip, I think it is rather sad but its there and people use it. Now I do go on it coz some of the stuff on there is...
tutti-fucking-fruitti asked: some random 'anon' calling me a cunt, and telling me to go die. strange the other day i told jess to fuck off and leave me alone NOW im getting loads of 'anon' hate. pretty obvious it's her tbh.
tutti-fucking-fruitti asked: hey babe, littlegossip is back up. x thought you'd like to know. x
R.E.A.L love
Have been watching Accidental Husband, I thought it was just a mushy chick flick. It’s a life lesson. In it there is a woman who is getting married to the guy she thinks she loves. But of course, there is another guy she also loves. The message in it is that you can’t always predict love. However the message I see, is don’t stay with someone because you are afraid of being alone....
“it’s over, and i’m free from the bitches reign of terrony.
I keep repeating it...”
– (via cherry-darling-x)
Vanity
I think I’ve become vain. I hate not having make up on or not looking my best. Its mostly around Paris. I just want to look good for him. Or, well I dunno, I’m just ridiculously self concious… Am I vain? Even today, even when I’m feeling ridiculously ill I still get up, get showered and put my make up on, even though he’s seen me in my dressing gown feeling like im...
cherry-darling-x:
Why do people wear leggings and nothing else on the lower half.
why
Why
WHY
WHY
it’s not cute, it’s not sophisticated it is a slutty area of cheap mainstream fashion and it makes it pretty obvious you put all your goods on show.
I hate it, i’ve seen some girls who wear it so tight you can see, well lets just say every cuve of their nether regions. I HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO...
New Years
New years was… well more than awesome. Went down to Falmouth with Paris and stayed in the Uni halls with Harry, his room mate Ben, and a really lovely girl called Natalie. Ben’s cousin and girlfriend came too they were nice enough but Liam seemed a bit weird. Spent the whole night dancing like a maniac and pretty much off my face. But no hangover and I remember everything so is all...
December 2010
2 posts
Damn boobs
Ok need to do exercise again, having wished for bigger boobs I know wish for them to fuck off… They just get in the way!!!!!!! On the plus side have discovered that weight only goes to my boobs… no where else…. I’m thinking thats a good thing. But still I think I’m beginning to loose muscle definition in my tummy and I want it back, I always felt my stomach was one of...
Happiness
It’s a rare thing for me to post something happy without there being a but at the end. Unfortunately that seems to very much mirror my life… But today, I just want to be happy. Of course there are buts, of course there are things wrong but, just for today, I can push them back. I’ve been told not to, suppressing the bad times is like adding petrol to a slowly extinguishing fire....
November 2010
1 post
Keeps getting better and better
So now it seems me and Paris may finally be off the rocks. Things feel easier… At least that seems to be one problem that we have worked through. But, as per usual, life can’t let me simply enjoy the good things. So my depression has been getting worse, I’ve sunk back down to a level I was at this time last year. Fantastic… Have just been diagnosed with SAD, Seasonal...
October 2010
7 posts
Dear Tummy, I’m sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, I’m sorry for all the tears. Dear Heart, I’m sorry for all the damage. Dear Brain, I’m you were right
Again
Its happening again. I don’t believe him. I’m blocked, the history is deleted, he’s so afraid of me going on his phone. He acting suspicious. It makes me suspicious. He left early in the morning, told me he was going to bed, and didn’t get back until later that morning. I don’t believe his story. Its too coincidental. I give up. He had his chance. If I find out…...
Thank you
Have just been reading my cookie’s posts… thank you for reminding me that through all this head ache and stress that I’ve been wading through has a silver lining. I am really happy that you have found some one to conquer your ‘commitment issues’ with. And reading that you have reminded me that I have some one who is willing to help me get through anything… just...
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKING HELL AND ALL THAT!!!!! Ok… I’m screwed… I need those sessions with Vanessa…. Cookie NEED to talk to you… IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!! I can feel myself slipping… FUCKING DAN CAUSING FUCKING PARANOIA FUCK HIM AND FUCK HIS MIND SCREWING!!!!!! FUCK THIS ALL!!!!!!!!! I cant even think straight… I need to show him how it...
*sigh*
Boredom is so… boring…
ARGH!!!!! I need something to do… I am bored enough that I have actually started looking for Paris’ christmas present… -_- I am never organised unless I’m bored. And yes, I know I should get on with college work but I really can’t be arsed… I should also get on with my personal statement and finally finish my...
I am
I see
I hear
I think
I plot
I plan
I stress
I panic
I worry
I know
I am…
I writhe
I hate
I love
I cherish
I question
I argue
I break
I heal
I wonder
I scheme
I am…
I quiver
I shake
I sob
I breathe
I tear
I rip
I cut
I feel
I spiral
I am…
I am all that you made me
I am all I have been
I am all that you don’t see
I am all that I dream
I am the light in the window
I am the one curled up...
September 2010
9 posts
Writing...
I don’t quite know, when my writing style shifted, I don’t write traditionally, I don’t write poems, and I used to write stories… I still do. But they are far far too personal to be published. I think I write… structured stories… at least thats how I tried to explain it to Paris when he caught me writing. He doesn’t read these… he doesn’t read...
My slow Poison
You once induced me like a drug.
And I gave in to your sedation.
I had to learn, that all this time,
You were just slow poison.
All you have to do is look at me,
And you can see it all.
I can’t stand the truth right now.
Oh, please, just let me go.
You are like the sun.
You blind me.
And yet you are warm and charming.
How can I deny you?
I could never see my reflection,
...
-_-
-_- it sums up my emotions… again… cookie… pige… if your available could do with a chat xxxx
“I should text him and ask if he’s into beastianity…I mean, he slept...”
– Vicki Bendall
Looking up
Things seem to be looking up for me at the moment. For some reason, good things have all come at once! I’m being ‘promoted’ in work which means I get to boss people around and have that bit more freedom… I am being pushed to achieve my blackbelt at the end of October… I did as well as I wanted in my exams… Things between me and Paris seem to have taken a turn...
Hmm
I’m not really sure what to think of Dan anymore. He’s being all weird with me again. It’s nice that he’s with Annie but he is trying to rub it in my face. Plus I hope he won’t do to her what he did to me. Though in a way, I want him to. I know what he tells them and I kinda want them to know how he behaves. Meh too much confusion. I think I should just try not to...
Haha
God I’ve changed, as my dearest Cookie will tell you… btw yesterday was on the hills lol anyways so things are looking good, am planning Uni and looking forward to my 18th in a couple of months. Harry’s going away do to look forward to. Hm, speaking of going away do’s would love my cookie and pigeons advice on this… How do I find out if Laura is having a leaving do? I...
Suki Dayo
You’re my best friend,
My worst enemy.
You make me smile when I’m mad
‘Suki Dayo’
Melts the anger away.
It’s scary;
The feeling of being helpless,
Knowing;
If you wanted to,
You could change me beyond recognition.
Yet,
I’m still here, questioning,
You tell me you do,
‘Suki Dayo’
Is it true?
I’ve been hurt,
My mind torn at with...
August 2010
8 posts
Koete (Co- et- ay)
Koete…
I will know
Who I am to them
Would they miss me?
Would they clammer to tell the vultures,
They were my best friend,
Would they beg at deaths feet,
For my soul to be returned,
For my body to be healed,
For my life to be rich,
Happy…
Would they beg him never to let me rise again,
From deaths embrace,
From the endless darkness,
I am forever running from
Would they...
Screw it all
So before I even type anything if anyone who shouldn’t be looking at my profile is, please kindly find some decency in you to not read this post.
I’ve fucking sunk again. I have no one to talk to. No one wants to listen to me. I am fucking alone again. So you know what I need to vent, I need to get it out. So here we go don’t read it if you don’t want to listen to all my...
A poem for my Best Friends
Looking back at my life to date
I realise how special you are to me
Chained willingly to me by fate
You are the one’s that set me free
I never saw at the time
That you were helping me too
So I sit here, trying to rhyme
To let you know, I love you
To my dearest Cookie:
My little foreign girl
You are stunning outside and inside
So give us a twirl
Don’t try to hide
You...
Progress
It’s an amazing feeling, not caring. I know that most people would think of nothing leaving the house with no make up on but it really means something to me.
One of the main problems I suffer with is my self confidence, it pulls me down and can trigger regressions. My psychiatrist lady says that it is the first issue I need to tackle, before heading back to face all the shit in my past...
My gorgeous pigey →
Boredom
So once again am dossing at Paris’ house whilst he is at work, should really make a move home in a minute, was hoping Tara would be home and could have a chat with her but oh well. Had a fantastic time at Rhi’s last night, its a shame everyone seemed to bail but was good just me, Rhi and Paris, though did get soaking, and rather pissed… I managed to trip over a curb and led in a...
Untitled
Ok so I suppose all of you that know me even slightly know that my only real release of the things that trouble me is through developing characters in a story. Yes whilst the characters follow real life rather closely at least I know I can change them where as in real life I don’t control the acts of others. So basically I’m gunna start posting stories on here, Cookie will want to read...
