Keeps getting better and better
So now it seems me and Paris may finally be off the rocks. Things feel easier… At least that seems to be one problem that we have worked through. But, as per usual, life can’t let me simply enjoy the good things. So my depression has been getting worse, I’ve sunk back down to a level I was at this time last year. Fantastic… Have just been diagnosed with SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder. Hence my relapse into heavier depression in the winter months and my more positive outlook in the summer. SAD is a bitch, have been explained the symptoms, things I thought were simply me, the inability to get up in the morning, to make myself feel motivated, the lack of sleep, the consistent tiredness, the social awkwardness and of course the heightened lows… Have to go back to my doctor as well, apparently the therapy isn’t working and whilst we have highlighted the cause of my problems (thank you Dad and Dan) it hasn’t helped me work through them. Yay. So now I’m going to be on anti-depressants… Yay. Plus my teacher is nagging at me for my lack of attendance so I think I am going to get a note from my doctor or from Vanessa explaining that its not my fault and she should fuck off…. Seriously I have some really good things in my life right now and I just can’t enjoy them. I honestly didn’t think I would make it to my 18th. I thought I would have given in and topped myself by now. Apparently I’m stronger (or weaker depending on how you look at it) than I thought. Shame about my arms though. They do look a state. And I think mum worked out that I didn’t catch my arm on a broken hanger, I didn’t get attacked by paris’ cat. Good thing she doesn’t know what I really did or she would top me herself.
