Loss
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to loose that one person that means more to you than anything else. The person who makes you who you are without either of you knowing it. The person who effortlessly makes you smile even when you are convinced that you will never smile again. Who, no matter how hard you try, you can’t stay mad with, you just give in and forgive with a hug and a hidden smile. The one who sits there while you shout and scream and lash out at them because you know that out of everyone, they are the ones who will forgive you for doing so. I wonder what it would be like if suddenly, they just weren’t there any more. I don’t mean a break up but what would you do, how would you act, if suddenly, that person passed away? If you woke up one morning to the sound of their parents in hysterics, to a phone call from the police telling you there had been an accident. Life is so fleeting, there are so many ways it could simply end and yet we still form such strong emotional attachments. We learn to crave and rely on something so breakable that what happens when that person leaves? I can’t imagine not having that person in my life. I can’t imagine how I would act, how I would cope, how I would even come to register and accept that this person could no longer be in my life. It scares me in a way, that it might happen. That a day might come when he isn’t just a phone call, a drive, a message away. All I can do, I suppose, is make sure that he knows I love him. That we never go to bed on an argument. That the last thing I do before I fall asleep is to tell him I love him, that he means the world to me. Because, in the end, I would want that to be the last thing I said to him.
